I just Mystery Googled something, and forgot what it was, because this came up as what the last person Googled: "giving strangers on the internet your phone number gives you 50 stupid points, and stalkers"

New favorite website.

Leave me a comment with a lyric from the song you're currently listening to (or your favorite song).

• I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
• Update your journal with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions

...

etched_scars:

1. You had mixed feelings about going on your mission with Dan, are you happy with how it
all worked out?
2. Who is someone(past or current) that has made a large impact on you?
3. What are you are most proud of?
4. When you're feeling blue is there a certain song that lifts you up?
5. If you want children, how many would you like to have?

My responses:

1. Yes. Guatemala was a really emotional trip for me, but in the end I decided the good outweighed the bad. And it was very, VERY positive for our relationship, because I get it now.

2. Dan, obviously, but also my friend Emily, and my friend Brian from Cedar Point. Dan taught me that I'm good enough without making an effort to be, Emily taught me to think for myself and be open to others doing the same, and Brian taught me to enjoy my own company and appreciate silence.

3. I'm probably most proud of my writing, although my grades and my music are a close second tie.

4. "Forever", by Chris Brown, "No Surprises" by Radiohead, "Peace Be Upon Us" by Sheryl Crow, and "Seven Day Mile" by...I'm not sure. Depending on what kind of blue I am feeling, these all make me look on the bright side.

5. One or two



EDIT: Just looked up official lyrics for "No Surprises". It's actually a really depressing song. It makes me feel better about things sometimes, though. Odd.

Diversity assignment: done.

Now I just have to pick a topic for my disease report. I hate picking topics, but at least there's a list to choose from...it has to be a urinary or kidney disease.

Sweet.

In other news, I invited myself along on Friday's road trip. I mean, unless Laura objects, then I won't go. But assuming she doesn't, I'm really excited! I've been itching to go on even a small road trip like this for about a month now. It's my last free weekend before I start work again and the timing is perfect--I have to be back Saturday for Dan's birthday, and Emily wants to be back Saturday afternoon. And I've wanted to see Laura's apartment for some time now, but haven't had the opportunity.

So I'm quite looking forward to this weekend.

...

I'm losing interest in WoW lately, which is bad because I recently bought a new prepaid game card. I feel like I'm not getting my money's worth, but I can't bring myself to play much the last few days. Farmville has taken over, which is ridiculous. I know. I just can't help it.

Also: I'm sorry to say that Bowling Green is not just a place you can go to get a college degree, but a place where no one knows which pedal to use at a green light. /grumble




EDIT: It's probably obvious by now, but I like my school a lot. My teachers are awesome, and I love that I only have two of them, and the same ones for the entire 30-week program. I'm looking forward to an awesome job and being able to be an adult according to a poster on sixwordstories (a community)'s lj: "Adults are just kids with money."

I've been thinking about what it means to be an adult lately and not been able to come to a definite conclusion, except that whatever an adult is, I'm pretty sure I'll never feel like one. But I think this guy's onto something. Maybe I should just stop worrying about it and BE A KID WITH MONEY.

I like that idea.

-I found my amethyst necklace--the only piece of jewelry Dan has ever given me (at my request; I don't want him to spend a lot of money on me), after almost a year of not being able to find it or remember what I did with it. I am so relieved. I mean, I knew it must be SOMEWHERE in my room, but after Emily and I cleaned it I was beginning to panic when it didn't turn up then that I must have accidentally thrown it away or something while cleaning. I woke up, remembered that I found it last night, and was instantly in a good mood.

-My rice is nearly grown in Farmville, and I desperately need new coins. It's the little things, guys. I'm very poor; I rely on the internets for entertainment.

-If my partner last night in class and I were right, and the scale in class is 5 pounds off (greater than reality), I have lost two pounds.

-I got top honors and perfect attendance again this module in school, and I was almost positive I didn't do as well this time around. Actually, I did better. I averaged 96.44% versus 95.something% last mod.

-I am nearly finished copying out my translated-to-Spanish letters for the girls in Guatemala that I promised to write.

Dan doesn't know I found my necklace yet. Time to surprise him!!!

Adventures in Personal Fundraising, or How to Waste Gas and Feel Stupid, by Julie McDonald


Yesterday, I packed up all the clothes Shitty Roommate #2 left behind for me to deal with, and drove to Plato's closet. Or at least, the empty building that once WAS Plato's closet. Realizing it must have closed, I drove to the next nearest location they knew about, which wasn't actually nearby at all, but I was not about to give up so easily. I cannot afford a watch battery for my watch to help me take vital signs at school. It's really bad.

That location was also closed. I called Dan at this point, and asked him if he could Google the place and tell me where the next nearest location is. He read an address to me that was in the same town I started in, but a different shopping center. I found it, and waiting 45 minutes for them to tell me that the stuff was "old label" (?) "outdated styles" (WTF? How does a plain black skirt or a pair of khaki pants go out of style?), etc. They didn't buy even one thing. At this point, it became a matter of principle.

So I went back today with a bunch of my own clothes, clothes that were brands I saw in the store and in AS GOOD or better condition, thinking, try to reject this stuff, suckas. I'm going to get at least $20 for the whole basketfull.

Wrong. They did reject it. They took one shirt and one pair of shoes. Both brand new, never been worn. They said the reason this time was, again, old labels and "worn" clothing.

IT IS NO MORE WORN THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN YOUR STORE, I said. They said, it looks worn.

It does not. Again, not anymore than anything else. If all they're going to take is brand name, brand new stuff, what the hell is the point? If I was going to spend $100 on Express or Abercrombie or American Eagle jeans, I sure as hell would not be turning around and re-selling them, brand new, to Plato's Closet. Why would anyone do that?!

I used to work for a Goodwill in a rather uppity neighborhood. I have high standards for used clothing, myself. I was taught to have high standards. My clothes I took in today are:

-No more than three years old
-Not faded
-Not pilled (sweaters)
-Not torn, ripped, or stained (SHOW me the stains, you snotty store clerk)
-Still in style (especially the basics....how do plain colored camis, short sleeved shirts, or long sleeved shirts go out of style?),
and most importantly, they are cute clothes. I get compliments on my style all the time. I have good taste. I have high standards for fashion and quality.

After all of this, I made $3.80. For one pair of shoes and a shirt that I have never worn.





My mom heard this story and slipped me $20. I took it, because I need it, but I so hate doing that! She doesn't have it to spare anymore than I do. I wish I could start working already.

Today, Google is featuring Bert and Ernie, zomg! They were always two of my favorites! I even still have my rubber ducky.

As most of you are probably aware by now, I have no blower in my car. That is to say: I have heat, but it's worthless unless I take turns holding my hands up against the vents. The lack of defrost is panic inducing. A few nights ago, I was driving and realized that it had fogged up so much that I couldn't see ANYTHING. I had to turn back. So hopefully today, I am getting this fixed, unless it costs like $600 or something, in which case the following charitable organization will be forming:

Take Julie To School, Get A Treat!

This heartwarming organization exists to sponsor a newly unemployed, poor vocational school student looking to better herself but getting screwed at every turn. Take Julie to school one, two, three, or four days a week (school is 5:30PM-10:00PM, but her classes usually let out earlier than that, especially on Mondays and Wednesdays), and she will make or buy you a treat! It could be a homemade brownie, a Frosty, a dessert, a shake, or a gallon of gas. It could be stickers. It could be candy. It could even be a bracelet made out of pop tabs. The possibilities are endless!

And if I actually get a job (which is looking more optimistic after a recent conversation with a former employer), you will also have the opportunity to participate in a subcategory of Take Julie To School, Get A Treat! called Take Julie To Work, Get A Treat!



I mean, hopefully, none of this will be necessary, but you never know. Even if it doesn't happen this time, Frank's been getting more and more fed up with me, as well as Ohio weather, and it looks like it's going to be another hard winter. So I figure it's probably best to keep my options open.


...

On another note, I am so done with this unemployment business. I have filled out form after form of additional information, not sure if I'm doing it right and having no number to call (at least not one that will NOT hang up on me...), that if it's not done right by now, it never will be.

Also: back on teh pillz, and with each test this past week, my grades steadily increased. Am feeling mostly normal again. I mean, relatively speaking.

Sara had fall break last week, and do you think we took advantage of this and hung out? NOOOOOOOO. Because she is a meanie and doesn't return my phone calls. Just kidding, Sara! But srsly, let's hang out soon, okay?

School update: The school agreed to finance me for the larger amount. So I'm safe. WHEW. Also, I took two tests, one day after another, and got a 92% on one and a 98% on the other. Just felt the need to toot my horn for a minute...I haven't been a straight A student since the third grade. It's exciting.



Totally unrelated:

There is currently an ad on the side of my lj posting window for "cartoonifying" oneself (for FREE!), and the example shown is frightening. The girl pictured actually looks better as a cartoon. It's not right.

I think I may be dyeing my hair red again soon. If I do, I will definitely post pictures. I can't decide yet if I want to cut my hair prior to dyeing it, or put Emily or Sara through hell trying to help me not miss any spots. I'm leaning toward the second. I'm lucky I have really good friends.

[Manager]: "_________ (last night's manager) is fired."

[Me]: "...why, exactly?"

[Manager]: "I gave her specific instructions to burn this place down after I left last night and IT IS STILL STANDING."


...


I had to add a page to my MOD report, there were so many complaints and rude people and so much neverending stress. I nearly quit, halfway though my shift. Honestly, I think the only thing that kept me there is the fact that I was robbed, and I need the money even more desperately than I did before.

Speaking of which, the police did get in contact with the person I suspect did it. They suspected her as well, but of course she denied it, and it was cash, so that's the end of that.

I am still glad I tried, though. I don't feel entirely powerless.

Later in the morning:

[Manager]: "The group leader that checked in last night said you were very helpful, and that he was impressed that when 150 people walked into the lobby, you remained calm. I am too, actually."

[Me]: "It wasn't that I remained calm so much as....lost touch with reality."

[Manager]: "...I see."

[Me]: "Is it can be clockout tiem now pleez?"

Wow, I waste a lot of time on the internet. Just spent an hour here and accomplished...nothing.

In other news, 100% on last night's med terms test. I am pleased. I was worried for a couple of days that I was slipping (two B's in a row), but now I feel like I'm back!

It's not that I'm a perfectionist, but if I aim for perfect I usually land in the "still pretty good" range, so I plan to keep aiming for it. I don't want mediocre grades, performance and attendance to become acceptable in my mind. It all matters in the hiring process later.

PS, my body still hurts from this past weekend's Housekeeping Extravaganza. I sort of want to just go back to bed.

"I have asked myself often during this journey: “How do I explain this back home?” … the poverty, growing despair, daily living conditions, the foundation of faith, singing and praising God with abandon, their generosity and their desire to journey in faith.

The focus of this trip, as I experienced it, was not about financial support; it was about being brothers and sisters, journeying together in faith. Probably the most important things we brought with us were hope and ourselves.

To people struggling against increasing odds and feeing rather forgotten, we were there in their homes, at their table, sitting among them at Church, and sharing the stories of all our lives. I am in awe of all that I have seen and heard and felt these past few days.

Returning, I pray that I communicate clearly the events of these days that have transformed my heart, my life."

Amen.

(734): I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
(231): the cocktail of hope

Emily: "I'm really glad you drove. I took a sleeping pill about an hour ago, and it's starting to hit me."

Me: *panicface*

Emily: "Hahahaha, your face just now was GREAT!"

Me: (recovering) "I am driving us to every single function we ever go to together for the rest of our lives."

Every Friday for five years (my whole elementary school experience), my mom let me buy my lunch so I could have a shot at winning Lucky Tray Day. One lunch tray every Friday had a sticker on the bottom of it, and if you got it, you got a prize. I finally won in the fifth grade; a pencil (a pencil, when it seemed like every other winner in the past had gotten better prizes, although to be fair the prizes had steadily declined in coolness over the past year), which broke immediately upon first use.

Thus I learned the important life lesson that the things you want are never as great once you get them. (Also, that the school system builds up your hopes and dreams of "being whatever you want to be" for twelve years despite the fact that five years later, you're going to find yourself working a minimum waged job wondering how the hell the universe ever interpreted your dreams of being a rock star as really meaning you wanted to wait on rude people, helping them pick out clothes or spending a total of twenty minutes helping some idiot that can't read signs figure out how to get to and back from a Steak and Shake from the hotel.)

And twice, Sarah B and I went to pick up Antar from his job at Kroger and bought a two-dollar lottery ticket from the machine while we waited for him to finish up his shift. Both times, we won four bucks, which meant each of us walked away with a dollar profit.



...


In other news, I have accumulated over seven hundred eggs in time for the Guatemala trip, without paying a dime for any of them.

It has been declared (not by me) that God has willed that I go on this trip, and that is why I'm going. I resent the fact that God gets the credit when it was the people of the church's generosity and cooperation with the fund raisers that are actually enabling me to go. Not that God has no influence over people's hearts, because He certainly does, but...I don't know. It just seems like there are a lot of people out there who don't understand that the way things work out is very much a cause-and-effect thing, and most of the causes are the result of the choices of HUMANS.

I mean, if you pray to God that you don't get whooping cough, and then you go get T-DAP (tetnaus, diptheria, and whooping cough innoculations), and then you never do develop whooping cough...it was most likely because you got T-DAP, not divine intervention. Give God credit where credit is due; He obviously allowed us to discover the preventative power of vaccinations and how to produce such vaccinations, but is it a miracle each and every time someone doesn't get sick because of one? No. I don't think so. It irritates me when people chalk so much of their lives (and mine) up to God's Will. What would have been the point of giving us free will if all we have to do is sit back and wait for God to make all our choices (read: do all our work) for us? ...just sayin'.

In some ways, I'm very excited to go but in others, I'm worried about how I'm going to do emotionally and mentally (and even spiritually) with a generally accepted attitude of God Controls Every Single Tiny Little Aspect Of Our Lives surrounding me. It may work for others, but it doesn't work for me, and I'm going to have a hard time biting my tongue if comments indicating such a belief continue to be directed at me. I don't want to be a bad team member or anything, but at the same time, I've never been one to remain silent when something so contrary to what I believe is true is forced on me.

I wish I could just go down there and help people and not have to worry about it. I believe it's God's will for us to help one another, but I don't think it much matters where or how we do so. I think that part is up to us, and God will help us in whatever we decide to do for our brothers and sisters, but I don't think he necessarily appoints each individual person to a specific post.

It just irritates me, that's all.   /end rant

Yesterday I drove to Emily's and we ended up group napping later in the afternoon. It was like having a sleepover. It reminded me of a few weeks ago when we bought a kite and flew it and then played on the playground. I'm really glad that despite the fact we're both grown-ups now, and she's even married, that we can still share such childlike pastimes. It makes me feel more lighthearted and less weary of everything difficult in my life, and I need that.

I think I'll go take a nap now. I'm still catching up from yesterday.

Friday night, I went to back out of my parking space, only to put my car in drive and have it....do nothing.

The car was still running. No strange noises. Just...nothing. No movement.

I tried shifting back into reverse, and the car lurched as it does when it intends to go as soon as I release the brakes, but when I put it back into drive, nothing. Same thing with every other gear I have.

In the meantime, eight cars have stacked up behind me, the one directly behind me is honking, and I can't move...well, except backwards, which does me a whole lot of good...

I get out of my car and walk to the guy behind me and go "I'm sorry, I can't move."

He offered to help push me out of the way of traffic, and I thankfully accepted. About this time, a taxi driver gets out of his taxi to yell at me: "Hey, girl, you want a job? Why don't you drive this taxi?"

...I thought about flipping him off and decided I had enough to worry about without risking my personal safety over some asshole's rage over something that wasn't even my fault. And I hope that he felt real bad when he saw the guy behind me get out to give me a push.

Out of nowhere, a few other people just appeared to help the first guy push. They were running and laughing as they got my car moving faster and faster, finally pushing it around the corner into a no-parking zone, safely out of the way.

As quickly as they appeared, they disappeared and only one guy, named Aaron, was left. He was really nice and pointed out that I was leaking fluid, so maybe it was just a fluid leak.

I prayed real hard that it was, but of course it wasn't. The saddest sight of all was watching my poor car hauled up backwards and helpless onto a flatbed and driven away. The tow truck guy was really nice, and gave me a ride to work. Thank God for Denise, who recommended this guy (and made me laugh at the situation by saying "why don't you just drive here backwards?"). He's been honest and kind to me every step of the way.

My car needs a new transmission. It's getting a used one from another Taurus with 80,000 miles on it, compliments of...my father?

What a guy.

I had no idea he would offer to pay. I had no hope. They told me the transmission was gone and it would cost $1,000 to fix, and I immediately began sobbing, "...I don't have $1,000...I don't know what I'm going to do. I'll have to talk to my dad and call you back", then hung up and sobbed some more before calling my dad to pass the news along, and then calling Dan to have a moment of silence in honor of Frank's memory.

I've decided that the appearance of my car no longer matters (within reason. I draw the line at giving in and removing the piece of paneling that would reveal the inner workings of my driver's side door and leave it one layer of metal away from being a HOLE).

So, I'm going to invest in some bumper stickers. Mom's disapproval be damned, Frank is going to spend his last days, (or hopefully, years) in style.

First order of business: a "Hello, My Name Is" tag, so that his name is visible.

Then, a sticker that says "I bet Jesus would've used his turn signals."

After that, who knows. I'll see what else I can come up with.

I wasn't sure I believed in the sentiment "what goes around, comes around"...but I think maybe now, I do. Maybe being a good person (or at least trying) really does pay off in other ways besides the personal satisfaction of having helped one's fellow wo/man.




More updates to follow, when I am not so tired.